falling, self hate and allowing the universe to have your back

earlier today as i was headed to the cafe i almost got into a car accident. ⁣

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it was a yellow light and a pretty sharp left turn but something in me told me to go. so i did. and because it was raining really hard earlier this morning, i lost control of the car. it wasn’t slowing down even as i hit the breaks. i felt like i was going to run into the sidewalk which had a concrete wall right behind it. ⁣

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a pretty scary experience to say the least. ⁣

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even though i had absolutely no control over the situation, something came in and shielded me from running into the wall. it was like a force. and although it was unseen, i very much so felt it. ⁣

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i can feel it now. it’s an energy that you can find everywhere you go if you really want to. ⁣

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this force, i call it God, you may call it what you like, is always present. and when we emulate that presence (because we are aspects of God) we can experience God vividly. ⁣

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as i did earlier. the force may have been unseen but it felt like falling and being caught by the air. it was a very tangible feeling. ⁣

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there are going to be many times in life when we feel we have no control. ⁣

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things happen all the time that feel out of our control but there is always something greater than us moving things and making them happen exactly how they are supposed to. ⁣

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if we truly believe this, all our falls will feel peaceful. the lessons we learn from them become the parachutes that we use to land on our feet. ⁣

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but when we refuse to accept that everything is happening for us, the falls we experience can feel brutal. ⁣

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we end up feeling like the world is out to get us. ⁣

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and as someone who has experienced both of these realities, let me tell you that the latter isn’t even comparable to the former. someone who feels like life is kicking their ass, can’t even begin to understand how falling can be graceful. ⁣

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but falling is part of the human experience. it’s just a matter of whether we think we have to experience it alone. ⁣

you are never alone.⁣

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people in your life may be fickle. they may not even show up for you the way that you show up for them. people may have disappointed you many times, YOU may have disappointed yourself. and in the process of many experiences that left you devasted, you may have picked up on the belief that “life beats you up.”⁣

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but you don’t have to keep believing this. ⁣

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in fact, this is one of the many beliefs that block you off from God. ⁣

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God isn’t a man up in the heavens. God is an energetic force that is everything. there isn’t a space in all of the universes that you will not find God. ⁣

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but your beliefs can build a wall around you that blocks you off from God. ⁣

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that blocks you off from your inner self. ⁣

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and this is when falling really hurts. ⁣

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people who hate themselves don’t experience God. and it isn’t like they can’t, it’s just that they aren’t allowing themselves to. ⁣

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this isn’t God's fault. neither is it your fault if you hate yourself. no child is born hating themselves. ⁣

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we learn this. and as someone who hated herself for a long long time, i can tell you first hand that every experience felt forced before i learned to accept and love myself. ⁣

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and i am still learning, as we all are. ⁣

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but these days God comes through. the angels come through. my higher self comes through. and it’s like i have access to this unseen world, and trust me, they have my back like nothing i’ve experienced before. ⁣

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it was always like this, i just learned to allow it into my life more and more. the same goes for you. you have a whole team of unseen forces wanting to love you and guide you. the question is, will you allow them to?⁣

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Affirmation: I accept divine guidance, love, and support. i am willing to surrender control and let life carry me. ⁣

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#getoutthetrap⁣