it's okay not to be okay: how to move through foggy days
- Salma Summers
- Jan 3, 2020
- 3 min read
a lot of us left a lot of things in 2019 that brought us comfort but restricted our growth. this can bring up feelings of immense loneliness. it can feel like we abandoned a part of ourselves. in a sense, we did - we abandoned habits or thought patterns that became a part of our identity.
it isn’t a surprise that we feel grief when we let go of things that didn’t serve us. grief is a natural reaction to something dying; even if that something dying makes us better people.
the path of bettering yourself will come with days that feel like you are grasping for air. where you can’t necessarily go back but you don’t know what is ahead of you either.
it can feel like being stuck in a state of limbo.
i have found a few things that help remedy these days - help me find contentment even amongst the confusion.
extend self-compassion: i have found that being nice to yourself really does change everything. when you don’t blame or judge yourself, you give yourself room to feel without conditions. we need to learn to feel without making the feeling wrong or making ourselves wrong for feeling. emotions are meant to be felt so that they can move through and out of us. it becomes very difficult to move energy if you are judging yourself for the emotion that is showing up. ⠀
embrace the fog/limbo: know that you are exactly where you are meant to be. you may be swimming in deep waters but the shore is close. just because you can’t see it yet, doesn’t mean you won’t reach it soon. understand that you will get your clarity. learn to get comfortable with not knowing because one thing that is guaranteed in this life is uncertainty. and there will be plenty of times where you won’t see the shore but you will need to trust that it is coming up. ⠀
whatever you are doing, stay present: you can sleep all day if you need to. you can cry if you need to. you can scream if you need to. whatever way you decide to move energy and feel is okay. the only important thing is that you are present with yourself in the process. you don’t have to do anything, you just have to be. the ego will try to tell you that you need to be doing more, don’t listen to it. do not engage in any self-criticism. continue to constantly put yourself back in the state of self-compassion, even if you do drift off into criticism. gently and calmly guide yourself back and do this as much as you need to.
this new year can bring up feelings of loneliness. you may not even know why you are feeling certain emotions but it is because we are moving into new energy, a new reality.
some things won't make it into the new. so feel what you are feeling, fully - and understand that you don’t need to have an explanation for everything happening in your life, the mind doesn’t always have the answers.
as we move into this new age, we have to get comfortable with not knowing. we have to move into a state of trust. trust that what is happening is happening for our highest good, even if it makes absolutely no sense to our logical mind.
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