own your story but don't let it own you - tw:sexual assault, trauma and the failed state of Somalia

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the past couple of weeks have been really intense and powerful. this time of collective purging has brought a lot up to the surface. my intention for Get Out The Trap has always been to share my own journey of how i got (and am getting) myself untied from all the trauma i have encountered in my own life. ⁣

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things have an interesting way of coming full circle. before Get Out The Trap i wanted to find ways to serve my community - i wanted to go directly to the people who look like me and have the hard conversations surrounding shame and trauma. ⁣

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i didn’t know how to do this but i knew that my mission was to represent the unrepresented - to be a voice for the voiceless. ⁣

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i come from a culture where shame is the foundation of life - although i am grateful to have experienced being a third culture kid, i never really understood why it was so difficult for me to resonate with either one of my cultures. ⁣

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now looking back in hindsight i can see that i experienced two very opposing cultures for the sake of understanding the flaws in both. ⁣

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this has helped me awaken to the truth that i get to choose the belief system that dictates my reality. ⁣

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i talk about this in a youtube video i made last year. you can watch it here. ⁣

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however, between the two cultures, it was my Somali culture that i felt further and further away from as i dived deeper into my healing journey. my parents are not American, they are Somalis and so their way of parenting was the Somali way. ⁣

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as i awakened more within myself i found reservoirs of resentment toward Somali culture - but ironically the more i recognized the deep-rooted traumas that caused me much pain, the less personal everything felt. ⁣

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i realized that although my anger towards my parents and my culture was valid; it was not PERSONAL. ⁣

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this ended up catapulting me to another level of healing. ⁣

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this is when i realized that i don’t need anyone to validate my journey for me as a Somali American woman. I could tell my story without getting caught up in the identity politics of it all. ⁣

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that’s why i came up with the slogan for Get Out The Trap: ⁣

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Own Your Story but Don’t Let It Own You. ⁣

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my story no longer holds precedence over my existence and my essence. i feel like a new person - ONLY because i have chosen to adopt this slogan and live by it. ⁣

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but my work is not complete and it will never be until this message is ingrained in the psyche of all people. ⁣

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a lot of people don’t know much about Somalia - besides the ongoing civil war that has torn it apart and displaced many of its nationals. ⁣

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but in more ways than not, Somalia is a failed state. our people are prideful and the taboo around many subjects makes it nearly impossible for the acceptance of outside help. ⁣

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over the past couple of weeks, i witnessed so many Somali women come forward on social media to tell their stories of sexual assault. ⁣

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typically - women in Somalia are told to stay silent about these experiences in hopes to “save the family reputation.”⁣

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you see, in Somalia, value and worth are measured by the reputation of the family name which is linked to the family tribe - so anything that is deemed “dishonorable” has severe consequences. ⁣

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survivors of sexual abuse in the Somali community rarely speak up about it - most of them are too afraid to even tell those that are closest to them in fear that they will be ostracised/disowned. ⁣

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in many cases (when they have), they have become the target. and since misogyny is unfortunately deeply rooted in our culture, a man's word prevails. ⁣

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i know now that if one part of our world is considered a failing state, we all are.

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somewhere along the journey, you awaken to the truth that all is one. ⁣

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we can’t keep ignoring what’s happening in our world - and ignorance is no longer an excuse.

globally, there is so much work to do. it isn’t enough to talk about it - we have to get ourselves involved in ways that require more of our time, energy, and attention. ⁣

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as we shift ages, the old adage that “it’s not my problem” is no longer acceptable.⁣

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we live in a reality governed by oneness. ⁣

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what is affecting the micro is affecting the macro even if you can’t see how. ⁣

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spiritual work is about shadow work and shadow work is about looking at the things/places we have repressed and turned away from. ⁣

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what is happening in Somalia along with many other third world countries is part of OUR collective shadow. ⁣

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it isn’t enough for us to put our trust in the UN and in NGOs, many of which are doing great work - still, there are those who are using people's struggles as a way to control and repress. ⁣

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we the people have the power. ⁣

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i teamed up with my sister Safia and my friend Maryan to start a go fund me to raise money for Somali women who are survivors of sexual abuse to have access to free therapy. ⁣

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we were immediately embraced by many women who are now part of the journey. ⁣

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when people come together beautiful change happens. ⁣

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i don’t ask for much but today …⁣

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i ask you to share this post with everyone you know and to donate to the cause if you are able to - SOMALI MENTAL HEALTH FUND VIA GoFundMe.

i ask you to follow @somalimentalhealthfund on instagram and to share the page on all of your digital platforms. ⁣

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i ask you to be an active participant in this collective rebirth by reaching out and asking how you can support someone (anyone). ⁣

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and i ask you to choose love - because i am you as you are me, as we are all one another. ⁣

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#getoutthetrap ⁣

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